


Night on the Town

by KittyBandit



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Office, Birthday, Christmas, Donut Destruction, Drinking, Elvis is there, Existential Crisis, Humor, Karaoke, Louvelier is a dick but what else is new, Love Confessions, M/M, Romance, Running From The Cops, Terrible Hangovers, Toilet paper and eggs not used for their intended purposes, Vandalism, heavy makeouts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 05:45:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9109213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyBandit/pseuds/KittyBandit
Summary: Upon finding out that today is their coworker’s birthday, Lavi bribes Allen to join him and Link for a night out in celebration. But as the night’s activities escalate, Allen realizes he might’ve made a terrible mistake.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday, Link! God, this fic took me almost 2 years to complete after I originally started to draft it. I’m so relieved to finally have it done. This is probably the funniest thing I’ve ever written. I’ve tagged it as Laven, since that’s honestly the only pairing in it, but really, Link steals the show most of the fic. Please, enjoy! This is my Christmas gift to you all!

The sound of buzzing phones and fingers typing away at keyboards echoed through the office. Cubicles lined the large workspace, gray walls separating one person’s desk from the other in a large, boring clump. Allen sighed, pulling his headset off and grabbing for his mug of coffee. He pulled the drink to his lips, only to grimace and set it back down. Of course it was cold. He sighed. It was going to be a long Thursday.

Allen stretched his arms above his head, then brushed back the stray white hairs from his face. His silver eyes slid to the time of his computer. 3:00PM. _Only two more hours to go_ , he silently reminded himself.

Grabbing his mug, intent on getting one last caffeine high before quitting time, Allen stood up – only to bump right into someone.

“Whoa. Careful, Allen,” the redhead called out, steadying the shorter man and keeping the half full mug of stale coffee from spilling over both of them.

“Sorry, Lavi,” Allen replied, having enough grace to look embarrassed for nearly covering his friend in the drink.

“Don’t worry about it,” Lavi replied, waving off the incident. “Hey, I have a favor to ask you.”

Allen’s silver eyes rolled, even as a small smile slipped onto his face. He started walking to the break room, Lavi trailing behind him through the aisles. “Why am I not surprised?” They weaved past their coworkers’ desks and headed down the hall, Allen watching his coffee mug more closely, not wanting to risk another possible spill.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lavi asked, his lower lip pouting out just a little.

“You haven’t come to bother me in a while. I figured you were about due,” Allen commented, just as they passed the threshold into the tiny break room. The old fridge buzzed loudly, making Allen raise his voice to be heard. They should have bought a new one ages ago, but management was cheap as hell. Allen dumped his stale coffee in the sink, washing his plain white mug quickly before heading back to the coffee pot for a fresh cup.

“Aw, Al. You make me sound annoying,” Lavi groaned, leaning against the counter near the microwave.

“Hmm, I wonder why…” Allen teased as he reached for the sugar and creamer.

“Rude!”

Allen just laughed. “What do you want to ask me?”

The redhead switched gears so quickly that no one would’ve known he was whining not two seconds ago. “Do you know what day it is?”

“December 29th.”

“More specifically?” Lavi prodded.

“Thursday?”

Lavi sighed, brushing the long bangs out of his face. “Ok, I’ll give you that one. But that’s not what I meant.”

Allen stirred his coffee with two little plastic straws, mixing the drink with nimble fingers. “Why don’t you just tell me instead of playing Twenty Questions?”

“I found out that it’s Link’s birthday today.”

The stirring of Allen’s coffee abruptly stopped. “…Howard Link? As in Mr. Howard Link of the HR department? As in the guy who refuses to believe that I’m _not_ stealing post-it notes and secretly selling them outside of work because — yeah, _there’s_ a hot commodity.”

Lavi snickered, pulling his hand to his lips as mischief glowed in his green eye. “Oh, so you’ve met him?”

Allen practically growled as he tossed his stirring straws into the waste bin and grabbed his freshly filled mug. “ _Yeah_. You could say that.” The venom in his voice hissed through the room.

Lavi only laughed, nasally and loud. “Geez, Al. You sound about as friendly as Yuu. Have you been taking lessons from him or something?”

Allen only glared at his friend.

“Anyway,” Lavi mused with shrug. “I found out it’s his birthday today—”

“And what does that mean to me?”

“Aw, have a heart! The poor guy looks miserable! Were you in that meeting this morning?” Lavi asked, pushing off of the counter. “Louvelier nearly ripped him a new one over a single typo in his latest report. I thought he was going to have a heart attack. Not to mention no one in the office has even bothered to get him a card or a cake. It’s like he’s been totally forgotten.”

Allen’s uncaring gaze never left Lavi, even as he took a moment to sip from his coffee mug. “…And what the hell does this have to do with me?”

“Well, see… I was planning on taking him out for some drinks tonight and I wanted you to come with me.”

“No.”

“Aw, c’mon! I need backup! I can’t handle that guy on my own,” Lavi admitted, starting to look desperate. “He’s so freaking stiff. But he needs to cheer up. I can see his office from my desk and it’s just… _depressing_. He looks like a kicked puppy.”

“How is that my problem?” Allen asked, shaking his head. “Stop looking into his office. Don’t you have work to do?”

“Allen, I finished my work _days_ ago. Just… Please?” Lavi begged, pulling his best ‘sad puppy’ face. “I’ll buy you dinner. And drinks!”

“You know I don’t really like drinking,” Allen reminded the redhead, taking another calming sip from his coffee. He could already feel his resolve crumbling. It wasn’t the first time Lavi had bribed Allen to go out on the town with him. And when food was involved, Lavi would pay for whatever he wanted, regardless of price or quantity.

And Allen _loved_ to eat.

“Then just food. C’mon, Al. Think of it as your good deed for the year. We can always use more good karma, right?”

Allen chuckled, holding stomach with his free arm. “I’m not the one who plays pranks on people all the time. My karma is good, thank you very much.”

“I’ll buy your lunch for a week?” Lavi offered, sounding more desperate.

“I’m listening…” Allen replied, an amused smirk on his face.

“Two weeks.”

And there was the magic number. “Ok. You got yourself a deal, Mr. Bookman.” Allen took another sip from his coffee, a sudden urge to boost his energy level settling in his chest. He’d need it to keep up with the redhead all night.

“You’re an angel, Allen. You know that, right?” Lavi teased, a large grin plastered on his face.

“Sure, sure. So, what’s the plan?” Allen asked, leaning against the vending machine and looking back at the redhead.

“6:00PM. The Prima Donna Karaoke Bar.”

Allen rolled his eyes, but kept smiling behind the mug of coffee at his lips. “I’ll be there.”

 

XXxXxXx

 

Allen opened the door to the Prima Donna Karaoke Bar and winced, the sound of a drunken woman trying to sing _“Let It Go”_ a little too enthusiastically hitting his eardrum like a sledgehammer. The high pitched and off-key wail disoriented him enough that he had to shake his head and hold onto the wall for support before the eye-crossing shriek subsided. When his head cleared and he could see straight, he looked around the crowded bar, trying to find his companions for the night (though companion might be a stretch of the word for Link).

It didn’t take long for Allen to spot Lavi’s red head in the crowd. As he waded past the small tables lining the bar floor, he finally managed to reach their table and sat himself down next to Lavi.

“Sorry I’m late,” Allen said, looking at them both as he unraveled the scarf from around his neck and shucked off his jacket. The table was already littered with empty glasses and a couple of beer bottles. When his eyes fell on Link, Allen pulled up the most pleasant smile he could muster. “Happy birthday, by the way.”

Link looked somber, quite the opposite of what Allen expected, considering it was his birthday. All Link could manage was a dejected reply of “Thanks,” before he took another long swig from his comically large piña colada. He had to hold the giant cup with two hands just to steady the heavy drink.

“Perfect timing, Al. I was just about to get some food. Come with me to the bar,” Lavi said, standing up and practically dragging Allen with him. Once they were away from the table, Lavi sighed, collapsing against Allen in exhaustion.

“I can’t take it. He’s the worst,” Lavi said, “Thank God you’re here. I need backup.”

Allen spared a look back at their table before letting out a long sigh. He didn’t mind Lavi leaning up against him — he could tell his poor coworker was already frayed beyond measure. He gave Lavi a reassuring pat on the back before getting the bartender’s attention. “I told you it wasn’t worth it. He’s just a sourpuss. There’s no way you’re going to get him to have fun.”

“I’m not giving up! Not only is it his birthday, but apparently he spent Christmas all alone,” Lavi said as he moved from leaning on Allen to leaning on the bar. He let his forehead thunk against the bartop, groaning loudly.

When the bartender walked over, Allen listed off all the appetizers he wanted, nearly the entire menu, and Lavi added in a few extra drinks as well. “Well, at least his damn birthday isn’t _on_ Christmas,” Allen grumbled after their order was put in.

“True — which reminds me. Did you like the present I got you?” Lavi asked, straightening himself up again with the change of subject. He smiled over at Allen.

In spite of their situation, Allen smiled back. “Yes, Lavi. And thank you again. You didn’t have to get me anything, you know.”

“Couldn’t let you go present-less now, could I?”

“Still, I really appreciated it.”

A quiet moment passed between them, and Lavi just smiled at Allen. He parted his lips, ready to say something, but the drinks he had ordered slid in front of them on the bar, breaking their gaze and his focus. Thanking the bartender, he grabbed the drinks, one in each hand, and tilted his head back to the table.

“I suppose we’d better get back to what we came here for.”

Allen sighed, his shoulders slumping. “Tell me you have a battle strategy?”

“I’m working on one,” Lavi replied, chewing on his lower lip as they walked back to the table. Link hadn’t moved from his seat, still staring into his now empty drink. When Lavi sat down, his entire demeanor changed in an instant, smiling as he gave Link one of his drinks.

“Hey! Why the long face?! It’s your birthday! You should be having fun!” Lavi said, taking a quick, long drink of his whiskey and coke.

“This is my life now, isn’t it?” Link asked, not even registering Lavi pushing the drink in front of him.

“Wha?” Lavi looked over at the blond, blinking with confusion. He’d already had a few drinks, so he wasn’t sure if he had trouble following Link’s train of thought because of the alcohol or if his coworker was simply not making sense.

Link kept staring into the empty glass, his fingers slipping on the sticky condensation. “I get up. I go to work. I get yelled at by Louvelier. I go home and sleep, then do it all over again the next day.”

“Well, it’s not like that _every day_ , right?” Lavi asked, squirming in his chair as Link sat there, rigid.

“And the one night I’ve gone out in, God, it has to be _years_ , it’s with you two morons.”

“Well, that’s rude.”

Link then glared at the stage, not even hearing Lavi’s words. “And I’m just sitting here like a loser — drinking and watching…” He paused as he tried to figure out what exactly was happening up on the karaoke stage. “…Elvis singing Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins! It’s not even an Elvis song!” He was so indignant over the absurdity of it all, that he literally shook with anger.

“Whoa there, cowboy,” Lavi said, hoping to calm Link down. “I’m pretty sure that’s not even really Elvis, so maybe we can cut him some slack?”

The appetizers arrived then, and Allen thanked the waitress who brought them over. He started in on a basket of buffalo wings while Lavi tried to do his best to pull Link back down from whatever mental ledge he was ready to jump off of.

“My life is _depressing_ ,” Link said finally, looking back at the table and glaring at Allen and Lavi. “What’s the point?! Why am I even bothering with living anymore?”

Allen and Lavi gaped at their coworker, dumbfounded and not sure what to say. A chicken wing paused halfway to Allen’s mouth, and Lavi stared wide-eyed as Link spiraled further down. Lavi managed to shake himself out of  his stupor and shared a quick look with Allen before trying to talk Link down.

“Okay… Now, it really can’t be that bad,” the redhead said as he nervously picked at the damp napkin under his perspiring drink. “I mean, you’ve got family, right?”

“I haven’t talked to them in years.”

“Oh.” Lavi searched his fuzzy brain for something else to use. “But you’ve got a girlfriend, though. I swear I heard you say you had one.”

“She broke up with me six months ago. Said I _worked too much_.” Link looked down at the drink Lavi had handed him earlier and downed half of it in one go.

Allen, being the last sober person at the table, tried his hand. “Don’t you have a pet? Hobbies?”

“I… I like to collect coins.”

Allen’s hopeful expression fell then. With a shrug, he reached for the basket of mozzarella sticks. “That’s the lamest, most boring thing I’ve ever head.”

“Allen!” Lavi shouted, shocked that his friend would work to push Link further down than he already was.

“I’m sorry, but his life sucks. There are no redeeming qualities,” Allen added, downing a few more globs of fried cheese before he picked at another basket of food.

“You can’t just _say_ that, though.”

Link shook his head, drunkenly pointing at Allen from across the table. “No, Walker’s right.”

“I am?”

“He is?”

“My life is so _pathetically_ boring,” Link agreed, his sullen mood turning to emboldened in less than a second. “I’ve been living as if I’ve been just a cog in a machine, turning day after day, never changing pace. I need to break free! I need to _do something_!”

“Grab Life by the ‘nads and squeeze ‘em ‘til they pop?” Allen offered before ripping into another chicken wing distractedly.

“Exactly!”

Lavi nodded, as if his drunken mind were capable of serious thought, and clapped Link on the shoulder. “Yeah! You just gotta go out and do what you want! C’mon, Howie! Grab Life’s balls and give ‘em a squeeze!”

Allen sighed. “Now I want dumplings.” The appetizers were already gone and he was left picking the last bits of flesh off the chicken bones. When Lavi gave him a quizzical look, he shrugged. “What? You keep talking about squeezing balls. It makes me think of dumplings.”

Lavi shook his head and focused back on Link once more. “Ok, Howie. This is your chance. Tonight is _the_ night. It’s your fucking birthday. Twenty-five years old — _a quarter of a century_! We are going to celebrate. It’s your night. What do you want to do?”

Link stared back at Lavi, determination in his eyes. He had the look of a man who had nothing else to lose. With a straight face, he turned to look at the stage. “…I’m going to sing.”

“That… is a good start?” Lavi replied, not sure what else to say to such a disappointing response.

Link stood up intent on going to the machine to queue himself a song, but he froze, standing there quietly for a short moment, then sat down again. “I can’t do it.”

“Don’t be a baby. Get up there,” Allen said, wiping his fingers on a napkin.

“You first, Walker!” Link said, crossing his arms defensively.

“I’m not going to sing,” Allen replied, his face and voice deadpan.

“No, no, no… Wait,” Lavi said, waving his hand in the air as his thoughts attempted to come together into a coherent sentence. “We should go up there, Al. We should _all_ go.”

“I did not sign up for this.”

“Seriously! We all need to do it! If we do it as a group, then Howie won’t be so nervous!” Lavi added, a plan already forming in his head.

Allen leveled a stare at Lavi, his lips pursed for a long moment before he replied. “I’d have to be drunk off my ass to even consider singing karaoke.”

“ _Great_ idea!” Lavi shouted, jumping from his seat and rushing back to the bar.

It was only after Lavi had hurried off that Allen realized what he had said. “Lavi! No! I said I wasn’t drinking tonight! Lavi!”

 

xXxXxXx

 

The Christmas lights around the stage blurred into nothing but glowing balls of light, and Allen was certain he would’ve fallen over if Lavi didn’t have a firm arm around his waist as they all tried to sing into the microphone at the same time.

Allen only got some of the words right, as the monitor was fairly blurry right then, and he could only read about half of the lyrics as they scrolled down the screen. Lucky enough for him and Link, Lavi was a pro at belting out the lyrics to _"American Woman"_ by Lenny Kravitz. The redhead carried them through the song as they swayed and sang out of tune.

The song ended and Allen still leaned against Lavi. He chuckled, fingers gripped around Lavi’s waist. Maybe those three pink concoctions Lavi had procured for him from the bar were stronger than the thought. He wasn’t usually this clingy. “Ok, I have to admit — that was kind of fun.”

“See? You should listen to me. Sometimes I know what I’m talking about,” Lavi replied as Link rushed back over to the karaoke machine to pop in the next song.

“Only sometimes, on the rarest of occasions,” Allen prefaced his agreement.

“You’re so mean, Al. You’re lucky you’re so cute.”

Allen blinked at Lavi’s word choice. _Cute?_ Lavi thought he was cute?

Before Allen could think more on it, a disturbance near the karaoke machine stole his attention.

“Listen, you have to share the machine, blondie,” the Elvis impersonator nearly shouted, his voice heard even above the din of the bar. Lavi and Allen moved off stage and towards Link.

“Ok, _Elvis_ ,” Link said, rolling his eyes at the name. “How about you can use the machine when you finally sing an Elvis song. Because I’m so fucking sick of seeing you butcher _Oops I Did It Again_ that I might actually vomit this time. And I’ll be aiming for your blue suede shoes.”

“My shoes are white, dumbass.”

Link almost fell over, physically strained by his aggravation. “You’re dressed as Elvis! Could you fucking get one of my references? I feel like I’m talking to the physical manifestation of stupidity!”

“Hey, I don’t need to stand here and take this kind of abuse! I’m calling the manager over here!”

“Oh? Gonna be a fucking tattletale, now? Snitches get stitches, Elvis.” Link continued to punch in his next song choice.

Even with how drunk Lavi and Allen were, they could already tell the situation was getting too heated. Lavi stepped up, moving between Link and Elvis. “Now, now, guys. I’m sure we can come to a compromise.”

“Yeah, we’ll come to a compromise,” Link said, glaring at Elvis. “The compromise is that we get to sing, and he gets to eat my entire ass.”

“Uh… I don’t know if that’ll work. I mean, does he even like to eat ass?” Lavi asked, taking the compromise seriously. He looked over at the impersonator, leaning in close and talking in a hushed tone. “Are you into rimming?”

“What?!”

Allen, sensing that the situation was quickly spiraling out of control, attempted to soothe everyone’s flaring tempers. “Maybe if we all just calm down for a moment and—”

“You tell him to calm down! He’s the one being the asshole!” the Elvis impersonator shouted, pointing at Link.

In response, Link barely batted an eye. “Come over here and make me.”

That was it – the last straw. The final thread of calm snapped. Allen didn’t think he’d ever witness something as insane as Elvis punching Howard Link in the face, but really, the night was already weird enough, so he shouldn’t have been too surprised. He and Lavi jumped back as the brawl continued, Link tossing his own fist back to clip Elvis in the jaw. The two cursed and fought – kicking, punching, and biting at each other as they rolled around on the sticky bar floor.

Lavi’s hand rested on Allen’s shoulder as they both kept out of range of the tussle. “Well, that escalated quickly.”

“Should we… like, stop them?” Allen asked, wincing as Elvis took a knee to the gut, only to get his revenge by yanking on Link’s braided hair.

“Ahh, no. I’m gonna pass on that.” Lavi stared at the fight, awe-struck. “I just saw Elvis try to bite off Howie’s ear. I’m not going anywhere near that mess.”

Allen shook his head, one hand fisted in Lavi’s shirt as they huddled together to watch the insanity. “Yeah, but—”

Before Allen could finish his sentence, a couple of hefty bouncers stepped in, grabbing Link and Elvis and yanking them apart. The two looked worse for wear, Elvis with his shirt ripped open and cut lip bleeding down his chin, and Link with a black eye and his hair a complete disaster.

“All right, you two – get out,” the first bouncer said, dragging Link to the front door.

The second bouncer followed, practically carrying Elvis over his shoulder. “You’re banned from the bar until you can learn some manners.”

“Get off me, you gorillas!” Link growled out, squirming in the bouncer’s grasp but never able to pull free. “I’m supposed to sing!”

“You can’t ban me!” Elvis screeched, struggling while being carried to the door. “This is my favorite bar!”

“Then learn some manners,” the bouncer said, his tone deep and sonorous.

Allen sighed. He could still feel the buzz of alcohol in his head, but this recent development left him exhausted and dulled his mood. He had just started to enjoy the night, too. “What do we do now?”

“Uh, change of venue?” Lavi suggested with a grin.

 

xXxXxXx

 

The sickly sweet smell of freshly baked donuts curled around Allen, his mouth watering at the scent. The display case held donuts of every kind: raised, cake, frosted, filled, powdered, glazed. It was Heaven. Bliss. Nirvana.

He looked at the clerk behind the counter, who seemed ambivalent about being stuck at Donut Delight at 10PM on a Thursday. But Allen couldn’t be bothered by the clerk’s bored frown, crossed arms, and impatient glare. He was a man on a mission – and that mission was donuts.

“I’ll take a dozen – no! Two dozen. Mix it up. One of each! And also can I get three large coffees?”

The clerk sighed, then started in on the order, moving at a snail’s pace as they took the tongs and slowly grabbed each donut one by one and stuffed it into a large bag. The smiling cartoon donut on the white paper crinkled with each added pastry.

Lavi slid up behind Allen, dropping his chin on his shoulder as they both watched the clerk set donut after donut into the bag. “You sure you can eat that many donuts?”

“Rethink that question and try again,” Allen replied, a smile curling up on his lips. His eyes never left the bag of donuts.

Lavi chuckled. “Yeah, you’re right. You can do it. _What was I thinking?_ ”

“I got us each a coffee so we can sober up. I’m still pretty tipsy,” Allen admitted, brushing back the white bangs from his forehead.

“Aw, what a gentleman. Thanks, Al.”

Lavi hadn’t moved away, his chin still on Allen’s shoulder. If anything, he had moved closer as they watched the clerk put donuts into the bag, like some kind of cranky, ridiculously slow conveyor belt. Allen felt Lavi’s warm breath on his neck then, and it left a shiver to trail up his spine. And… was that Lavi’s hand on his hip? He swallowed down the nervousness fluttering in his stomach. Maybe it was the alcohol that left him less inhibited, but Allen indulged himself then, leaning back into Lavi’s chest and resting against his warm body.

Yes, that was definitely Lavi’s hand on his hip. He felt his long fingers gently teasing his skin over the thin fabric of his buttoned shirt. Allen flushed red, hoping no one would notice, or at least blame it on the alcohol.

When the last donut was bagged and the coffees filled, Allen paid for the snacks. Lavi helped him carry everything to one of the numerous empty tables in the shop before settling in on the same side of the booth. Lavi warmed his hands around his paper coffee cup, while Allen went straight in for the donuts.

“Where’s Link?” Allen asked offhandedly. He scanned the restaurant for a moment before biting into a raspberry filled donut covered in powdered sugar.

“He said he’d be back in a minute and left. Not sure where he went, though.” Lavi took a sip, then sighed with contentment at the warmth.

“Shouldn’t you, I don’t know, be keeping an eye on him?”

“Why me? He’s a grown-ass adult and can take care of himself.”

“He’s also drunk _off his ass_ and probably shouldn’t be left alone for too long.” Allen paused to take a quick sip of his coffee. “I mean, he was talking about how his life had no meaning and everything he did was pointless. Not that he was wrong, but still…”

Lavi groaned, crossing his arms against the table and resting his forehead on them. “This night is turning out to be a little more crazy than I expected.”

“Well, we did get kicked out of that karaoke bar. I didn’t thank you for that, by the way.”

Lavi snapped his head up at the accusation. “It was Howie’s fault!”

“Yes, but you also didn’t stop him.”

“You’re heartless, Al.” Even as Lavi said the words, he grinned.

“Would you feel better if I offered you a donut?” Allen pushed the bag towards him, a smile on his sugar coated lips.

With a sigh, Lavi reached into the bag. “Yeah, I suppose that will win you back into my good graces.”

“Just don’t take the crème filled ones,” Allen prefaced, cupping his hands around the paper coffee cup and taking a cursory sip to test the temperature.

“Oh, I see how it is,” Lavi started, his tone playful. “I can have a donut, but not the _good_ donuts.”

Allen smirked back. “Keep in mind that this entire outing is because _you_ couldn’t handle seeing Link’s depressed puppy face. So whatever happens tonight is entirely your fault.”

“Al, I told you! He looked like he was gonna die! I had to do something!”

“Doesn’t matter. Still your fault.” Allen popped another donut into his mouth, an apple fritter this time. He watched Lavi as he chewed, grinning widely.

Lavi sighed, then took a donut from the bag – a cinnamon twist. The sugar coated his fingers as he slumped against the bench. They sat there quietly munching on donuts for a few more minutes before Lavi checked the time on his phone, his eyebrows knitting together. “Howie’s been gone for almost twenty minutes.”

“I told you to keep an eye on him.”

As if summoned by his ridiculous nickname, Link stumbled through the door of the donut shop, nearly knocking over a garbage can and a few chairs. Allen winced as he watched the scene, wondering just how many bumps and bruises Link would accrue before the night ended.

Link sat down opposite them at the table, and dropped a brown paper bag in front of him with a loud _clunk_.

“What is that?” Lavi asked, licking off the excess sugar from his fingertips.

“Kahlua.” Link unabashedly pulled the bottle from his bag and drank straight from it.

Lavi let out a long sigh, then pushed the untouched coffee towards him. “Allen bought us all coffee. Maybe you’d like that instead?”

“More like _in addition to_ ,” Link commented, grabbing the coffee and taking a long gulp. Lavi watched with his jaw slack as his coworker downed the hot liquid, most likely burning his tongue in the process. Once the cup was near half empty, Link popped the top off and poured in the Kahlua. The brown mix of liquids hit the rim of the cup, nearly overflowing. Link carefully sipped at it until he could put the top back on, then drank down more of the potent mixture.

Allen pulled another donut from his bag, quietly eating as he watched Link drown his sorrows in alcohol. “Are you sure you want to keep drinking?”

“That’s a stupid question, Walker. Does it look like I want to stop?” Link took another long gulp of his spiked coffee, not bothering to meet Allen’s concerned gaze.

“You know we have to work tomorrow, right?” Lavi asked, still gaping at the blond.

“What does it matter? No matter what I do, it’s not good enough for that dictator of a boss.” Link sneered as he took another drink, glaring across the empty donut shop. He looked a mess with his black eye, tangled hair, and overall disheveled appearance. The stench of alcohol wasn’t helping, either.

“Trust me, it’s not just you,” Allen added, plucking another donut from the bag. He’d gone through half of pastries already. “Louvelier is a menace to all of us. One time, he made me stay late to refile documents that he’d screwed up in the first place just so he wouldn’t look bad to his boss.” He finished the confection, a frown on his face as he remembered the incident.

Lavi nodded. “I remember that. He made me do something similar, too. Though, it was because he forgot to write up his presentation notes for a meeting and made me do it. The guy is just plain evil.” He took another sip of his coffee, sighing after he swallowed.

Link scowled, his fingers tightening on the paper cup and threatening to crush it under his grip. “That asshole…I should give him a piece of my mind.” He took another large gulp of his spiked coffee, then added more of Kahlua to his cup. Allen watched in amusement—the drink had to be mostly alcohol at that point.

“Yeah, we all should,” Lavi said, leaning back in the booth and resting his arm against the back of the seat. “That guy deserves to hear how much we all hate him.”

“Ah… Yeah,” Allen agreed, unable to ignore how close Lavi was again. He could feel the heat of Lavi’s arm on his shoulders, and his face burned red from the touch. Lavi had been exceptionally clinging these past few hours, and Allen still wasn’t sure what to make of it.

“You’re right,” Link said, an uncharacteristically maniacal grin spreading over his face. He dug for the phone in his pocket and once it was free, started to search through his contacts list.

Link’s determined look distracted Allen from his own embarrassment. “Link, what are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” he asked back with a sharp tone, staring at the screen and still searching.

“Ah, it looks like you’re about to drunk dial someone,” Lavi said, taking another sip from his coffee.

“We’re going to tell that asshole just what we think of him,” Link added. Lavi and Allen’s faces fell at those words, realizing exactly what was about to happen.

“Link, do _not_ call Louvelier,” Allen said, panic rising in his voice. “Do you want us all to lose our jobs? He’ll fire us in a heartbeat if you badmouth him like that. And I’m _not_ standing in line at the unemployment office because you’re drunk and can’t keep your mouth shut.”

“Seriously, Howie. Let’s just have some donuts instead and calm down.”

Link ignored them both, setting the phone against his ear as it rang. Allen and Lavi shared a mirrored look of fear, then both lunged over the table for Link’s phone. Coffee and Kahlua spilled across the table, and the bag of donuts became nothing more than a crushed sack of fried cake and frosting and the wrestled with the blond.

“Hey! Get off me!” Link shouted, trying to jerk away from them. He managed to slide out of the booth, then pull Lavi and Allen to the floor with him. They all groaned as they hit the tiled floor with a loud _thump_. Allen lost his grip first, rolling off and rubbing at his sore head as Lavi continued to fight Link for the phone.

“Let it go, Howie!” Lavi shouted, pinning Link’s smaller frame to the floor and trying to uncurl his fingers from the phone.

“I have to do this!” Link shouted back, knocking Lavi in the face with his elbow then rolling away with the phone in his hand. Allen grabbed Link’s ankles before he could get far, tripping him up easily thanks to how drunk the blond was. Link fell into a display of donuts and other pastries, knocking the whole thing over and destroying the sweets as well as the display in one fell swoop.

The quiet and morose donut shop employee began cursing and shouting at them from behind the counter. “What the hell are you assholes doing?! You’re destroying the store!”

Lavi pounced on Link while he had the chance and wrestled the phone out of his hands. Without hesitating, he deleted Louvelier’s number from the contacts while the blond groaned on the ground amid the piles of squished donuts and the broken stand. Allen simply sat there, perplexed how they had come to this point in the evening.

Stuffing Link’s phone into his pocket, Lavi gave a placating smile to the employee, hoping to smooth things over. “Sorry about that. Our friend is having a bad night.”

“Yeah? Well, now _I’m_ having a bad night. I’m calling the cops!” the employee spat out, picking up the store phone and dialing.

“Hey, c’mon. Let’s not make this any more troublesome…” Lavi pleaded. However, the employee refused to compromise.

“No way. I have to clean this up now. And I’m _not_ having my manager make me pay for this.”

Link ambled to his feet then, wobbling unsteadily and covered in frosting and powdered sugar. “Then there’s only one thing we can do to fix this,” he said, taking a deep breath. He stood there for a short moment, looking over the mess, and without warning, he turned and ran for the door.

Lavi’s eye widened when he realized Link’s terrible plan. “Shit,” he grumbled, grabbing Allen’s hand and yanking him up off the floor.

“Hey! Get back here!” The employee tried to chase after them, but slipped on some of the spilled donuts instead.

“What are you—?!” Allen cried out, only to be cut off.

“Faster, faster!” Lavi urged, following Link out of the store and down the street. They ran close to five blocks, chasing after Link and following his weaving and uncoordinated path. They finally caught up to him when the blond collapsed against the back wall of a hardware store in one of the alleys they had darted down. He panted heavily, hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath.

“That was the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen!” Allen shouted, glaring at the both of them as they all fought for air. “They’re calling the cops on us now! Why did you run?! We could go to jail for this!”

Link straightened out his stance and grinned widely. “That was so fun!”

Allen just stared back at him, flabbergasted. “Are you kidding me?! We’re in _a lot_ of trouble! What if the cops find us? That place probably has security cameras! They’ll eventually find us!” Then, another thought crossed his mind, and his anger doubled in size. “I can _never_ go there again! They had the best crullers in town! _I fucking hate you_!”

Lavi winced at his words, then rested a hand on Allen’s shoulder and spoke with a soft tone. “Hey, Al. Calm down…”

“What part of this should I be calm about?!”

“If it makes you feel better, I know for a fact that that shop doesn’t run its security cameras. So, we’re probably not recorded causing the mess and fleeing the scene,” Lavi offered.

Allen’s eyebrows furrowed together as he glared back at the redhead. “Oh, _thank you_ ,” he said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “So, _maybe_ we won’t get caught and thrown in jail. Fantastic.”

Lavi opened his mouth to reply, but before a sound could escape, Link started laughing maniacally. Lavi and Allen watched him, silent and confused. Neither had seen their coworker laugh at all, and certainly not with such enthusiasm. The fit of chuckles lasted nearly a minute before they petered out, and he sat down on the cold, wet ground, snow and dirt staining his pants.

“I have never felt so alive! This is amazing!” he said, grinning up at them. “What are we doing next?”

“Next? _Next?!_ ” Allen asked, his voice growing louder with each word. “Next we’re calling a cab and going home. I’m done. This night is a disaster. We’re ending it.”

“Yeah, Howie. Al has a point. Besides, I’d like to get the frosting out of my hair before it hardens into cement and I have to shave it off.” Lavi winced as he tugged out a large clump of pink frosting and dropped it on the ground.

“Are you kidding?! There’s no way I’m going home now. The night is young and I feel alive!” Link glared up at them from the ground, but the normally subduing effect was tainted by how ridiculous he looked. Sitting in the dirt and covered in bits of donuts and frosting didn’t lend credibility to demands.

“I think we’ve had enough fun for one night,” Lavi offered, reaching out to help Link off the ground.

“More like fifty nights,” Allen mumbled, arms crossed over his chest as he refused to look at Link.

Frowning, Link grabbed Lavi’s hand and stood up reluctantly. He watched them both for a long moment, then sighed. “I suppose you’re right.”

“Good, I’m glad you see it our way,” Lavi added, smiling.

“Can I have my phone back now?”

“Sure.” Lavi dug in his pocket and handed the phone over to Link. He looked at it for a moment, then tucked it into his own pocket. Lavi opened his mouth to speak again, but before he could get a word in edgewise, Link sprinted down the alley and towards the street.

“Later, losers!” Link shouted as he dashed away, disappearing around the corner.

Lavi let out an aggravated gasp, then groaned loudly. “Shit. Now we have to go catch him.”

Allen stared at him as if his hair had caught fire. “And why exactly should we do that?”

“Seriously, Al? You saw how unstable he is. If we leave him alone, he’s going to get in all sorts of trouble! How can you, in good conscience, bail on him? And you were the one who said I should look out for him earlier.”

The stern look on Allen’s face refused to abate, and he gestured to his sullied clothes. “That was before he decided to completely jump off the deep end. I think I have plenty of reasons to bail now. Face it, Lavi. Link’s been on the straight and narrow so long that he’s basically self-destructing from it all. There’s nothing we can do about that.”

“I know. _I know_ ,” Lavi agreed, running a hand through his sticky hair. “He’s really given us no reason to help him, but can you honestly say that you’d be okay to leave him on his own? He could get hurt, or arrested, maybe even die—”

“—Okay, I think you’re being a bit dramatic—”

“—And if something bad happens, don’t you think you’d feel at least a little guilty?”

Allen pursed his lips, arms still crossed as he stared back at Lavi. God damn, he hated when the redhead was right, and how easy it was to sway him to his side. He may have been pissed beyond belief with Link over the night’s turn of events, but he couldn’t deny Lavi, especially when he was being selfless like this—and to a coworker they barely tolerated, no less.

“Fine,” Allen replied, his tone clipped and curt.

Lavi grabbed Allen’s hand and pulled him down the alley, rushing after Link. “Hurry up! If we lose him now, we’ll never find him!”

Allen groaned as he fumbled to keep up with Lavi’s pace. “I already regret this.”

 

xXxXxXx

 

Lavi stopped once they’d reached the corner of the block, checking each street for any trace of Link. After thirty minutes of searching, they came up empty-handed. Link had disappeared like a ghost.

Allen took a few deep breaths and pushed his sweaty bangs from his face. “I think we lost him, Lavi. He could’ve gone anywhere.”

Lavi groaned, fumbling to pull the phone out of his pocket. “We have to find him. I seriously will never forgive myself if he gets hurt.”

With a heavy sigh, Allen reached out and rested his hand on Lavi’s shoulder. Even with all they’d gone through tonight, his anger had already managed to dissipate into worry. Lavi took losing Link harder than he thought he would. “He’ll be okay.”

Pulling the phone to his ear, Lavi turned on Allen with a grief-stricken look. “But what if he’s not? What if he’s—” Lavi cut himself off, eye wide. “Howie! Where are you?!”

Allen listened with bated breath to Lavi’s half of the conversation. There was a long silence, and Lavi opened his mouth multiple times, as if he were trying to get in a comment, but Link wouldn’t stop talking.

“H— Wait, just tell me—” Lavi sighed as his shoulders slumped. “What does that _mean_ , Howie? Give me _a street name_ , buddy.”

Allen watched the conversation, chewing on his bottom lip as Lavi began to panic again. “No, don’t hang up the—!” Lavi pulled the phone away from his ear to see the call had dropped. “Shit!”

“What did he say?” Allen asked, grabbing onto Lavi’s arm to keep him steady. The poor redhead looked like he was about to faint any second.

Shaking his head, Lavi exhaled to try and calm his nerves. “I don’t know! He wasn’t making any sense! He just said _‘Should’ve done this since I took this soul-sucking job’_ and _‘He’ll never know what hit him. That stupid mini-mansion needs a makeover.’_ Then he just hung up on me!”

Allen’s nose scrunched up as he tried to make sense of the words. Lavi seemed too panicked to do anything but flail around uselessly. “It sounds like he’s still obsessing over how shitty his job is.”

“Yeah,” Lavi agreed, absently scratching at a patch of dried frosting on his chin. “Which means he’s probably talking about Louvelier, right?”

“Our resident Boss from Hell—Oh, my God.” Allen smacked his forehead as the answer became clear. “He’s probably going to Louvelier’s house to do something to it.”

Lavi’s eye widened. “ _‘That stupid mini-mansion needs a makeover.’_ Dammit, Howie!” He pressed his hands against his face and let out a loud groan. “He’s gonna do something stupid, I just know it. We’ve gotta get there before he gets himself unemployed and ruins his life, but I have no clue where Louvelier lives. Maybe we can look up his address on Google or something…”

With a nod, Allen pulled Lavi towards the street and hailed a cab. “Forget Google. I know exactly where he lives.” As the cab pulled up to the sidewalk, Allen yanked the door open and slid inside, Lavi following after.

“How the hell do you know that?” Lavi asked, closing the door behind him.

“Because he only lives a few blocks from my apartment.” Allen gave him a triumphant grin before leaning forward over the front seat to speak to the driver. “1818 Willowbrook, please.” The driver nodded and started driving.

Lavi chuckled and relaxed back in his seat. “You’re full of surprises tonight, Al.”

Allen simply grinned back in return.

 

xXxXxXx

 

Allen had the taxi stop at the end of the block, far enough away from the house to keep from drawing unwanted attention. If Link was there, he didn’t want to scare him off, or wake Louvelier and get them all caught. After paying the driver, Allen and Lavi walked towards Louvelier’s house.

Lavi gave a low whistle as he surveyed the rows of elegant houses lining the streets. “This is the posh part of town, ain’t it?” he asked, grinning as he elbowed Allen. “And you live around here? Are you secretly rich or something? Hiding things from me, Al?”

Allen shook his head and smiled in spite of their situation. “I live a few blocks away at an apartment complex. It’s nice, but not too expensive. Do you think I’d be working on the phones at our office if I was secretly rich?”

“I dunno! Stranger things have happened tonight!” Lavi exclaimed, shrugging his shoulders. “I mean, Howie’s gone off the deep end and we’re donut-shop fugitives. I’m just waiting for the next shoe to drop.”

When they reached the house, Allen knew they were already too late. Streams upon streams of cheap toilet paper hung from the bare trees in the front yard. How Link had managed to beat them to their destination and create this much havoc in such a short amount of time was beyond him. At first he thought the blond had already disappeared, or perhaps had been caught and hauled off, but before he could comment to Lavi on his suspicions, Link appeared from behind a large grouping of well-trimmed bushes and threw a few more rolls of paper over the foliage.

“Link!” Allen hissed, loud enough to grab his attention without waking the neighborhood. There was a short stone fence around the perimeter of the yard, barely four feet high. Allen leaned over it to point accusingly at his coworker. “Get the hell out of there! Now!”

Link ignored the summons, and continued to toss roll after roll onto every bush and tree in Louvelier’s yard.

“I think we’re gonna have to get our hands dirty on this one,” Lavi said, placing his hands on top of the stone fence and jumping it with ease.

Allen watched him with a horror-stricken face. “Lavi! No!”

“C’mon, Al. Let’s go get him.” Lavi didn’t wait, picking through the yard to avoid the deeper patches of snow piling up on the lawn as he made his way towards Link.

With a heavy sigh, Allen jumped the fence as Lavi had and followed after.

“Hey, Howie,” Lavi said, his voice soft and calm, as if he were talking to a skittish animal. “How about we get out of here and get you some food or something? My treat.”

Link didn’t look at Lavi as he replied, too focused on aiming the next roll of paper over a particularly high branch in the tree above them. “Not yet.”

Allen sighed, finally catching up with them both. “Link, this has gone on long enough. We have to leave before someone sees us and—”

“Nope. Not until all this paper is in the trees,” Link interrupted. He let the paper sail overhead and grinned when the roll curled over the branch perfectly. When the leftovers hit the ground, he grabbed the remaining paper and let the roll fly once more.

“Seriously? Aren’t you scared of Louvelier catching you— _catching us_ — and getting fired?” Allen asked, exhaustion heavy in his words as he tried to reason with him.

“Not tonight,” Link said, still grinning. “Tonight, I’m invincible.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake—”

Before Allen could grab Link by the back of his coat and drag him out of the yard, Lavi held him back by both shoulders. “I think you’ve done a pretty good job so far, buddy. Let’s call it a night and get a burger.”

“If you two want me to leave, you’d better help me TP these trees,” Link said, not bothering to look at them, too focused on the task at hand. “I’m not leaving until all these rolls are in the trees.”

Allen sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. He was about to turn to Lavi and complain more, but to his surprise, the redhead just grabbed one of the many toilet paper rolls sitting in a plastic grocery bag on the ground and joined Link in his efforts. “Lavi, what are you doing?” he hissed.

“You want to get out of here faster?” he asked, grinning as he let the first roll sail into the branches. “This is how we do it.”

“I can’t believe this,” Allen mumbled as he watched them chuck roll after roll into the trees and around the bushes. “Not you, too, Lavi…”

Lavi seemed immune to Allen’s displeasure as he tossed another roll up and hooked it over one of the larger boughs. “C’mon, Al! Try it! It’s actually pretty fun.”

Allen frowned as they continued to ignore him. He glanced back down at the toilet paper, then at Lavi and Link as they littered the paper all over Louvelier’s yard. With a defeated sigh, he grabbed two rolls from the bag and began to unravel the paper in preparation for throwing it. “You two are impossible tonight.”

“Walker, don’t be a sourpuss and throw the paper.”

Lavi finished with his roll and turned to Allen with a smile. “Hurry up. The sooner you help, the sooner we’re out of here.”

Unable to argue with that logic, Allen whipped one of the rolls up into the branches. The soft, white paper soared above before hitting the wet ground with a soft _plop_. Allen grabbed the roll and tossed it again and again, until he ran out of paper. By the time he started on the second roll, a smile slipped onto his face. “I guess this isn’t too bad.”

“Right?” Lavi said, working with a fresh roll. He grinned widely as he made another pass over the largest tree in the yard.

They finished with the paper in record time, and Allen refused to voice his disappointment that their vandalism was over. “Okay, we’re finished. Let’s go before someone sees us.”

“One more thing,” Link said, grabbing the bag off the ground. Something heavy weighed it down, and when Allen took a closer look, he saw a carton of eggs. His silver eyes widened.

“Link, I think the toilet paper was enough. I mean, it’s practically the paper goods section of a Walmart here. Don’t you think the eggs are overdoing it?”

Link didn’t listen, and instead opened the carton and readied two large eggs in his right palm. “We gotta finish it,” Link said, his voice still slightly slurred from the alcohol. He whipped the eggs at Louvelier’s front door, the shells smashing upon impact and smearing yellow and clear goo over it. It slid across the elegantly decorated glass and clung to the Christmas wreath still hanging from the door knocker. Link let loose another few eggs and Allen and Lavi watched in awe, each wet smack on the wood more satisfying than the last.

However, as Link got to the last few eggs, the lights turned on in the house. Allen saw them first and grabbed Link by the elbow in a panic. “We have to go! Someone’s awake!”

“Just two more!” Link said, reaching up to toss them, but by then, Lavi had grabbed his other arm and started dragging him to the fence.

“Sorry, Howie. Time to boogie!” They helped each other up over the stone fence again—Allen jumping over first on his own, then helping Lavi pull Link over as well. By the time Lavi cleared the fence, the front door opened and Louvelier’s red, angry face greeted them.

“Hey! You hooligan teenagers! Get back here and clean this up right now!” he shouted from his doorway, shaking his fist as he tried to chase them in his robe and slippers. “I’m calling the police!”

“Run, run, run!” Lavi shouted, pushing Link forward as all three of them stumbled down the slippery sidewalks. By the time they made it to the end of the block and turned the corner, they could no longer hear Louvelier’s terrifyingly pissed off voice screeching at them.

They kept running nearly three more blocks until they made their way into a nearby park. The trees were bare, but covered in Christmas lights, and the sidewalks were neatly shoveled. When they stopped to catch their breath, Allen collapsed onto the park bench, Lavi following after. Link crumpled into himself and laid out on the cold sidewalk a few feet away, panting loudly.

Allen leaned into Lavi’s shoulder as his breathing began to even out. This time, he began chuckling, a grin spreading over his face as he shook his head. He knew he should’ve been pissed, like he had been after they ran from the donut shop and were kicked out of the karaoke bar. But this…? This was so entertaining and unexpected, he couldn’t help but laugh.

“Did you see his face?” Allen asked between giggles. “He looked like an angry zit that was ready to burst.”

Lavi let out a loud, barking laugh at the imagery. “Oh, my God. Now that you mention it, he did!” He shook his head and leaned against Allen. “And did you hear him? He thought we were ‘teenage hooligans.’ I guess we’re off the hook now. He doesn’t know it was us.”

“Lucky,” Allen agreed. He laughed again until his lungs hurt, then sighed at how absolutely ridiculous their night had been. Looking up at Lavi, he smiled. “I have to admit, that was pretty fun. He’ll be cleaning that mess up for days.”

“He deserved it,” Lavi replied, just as amused at their antics. “But he’ll likely take it out on all of us at the office tomorrow. You know how he is.”

“Probably,” Allen agreed. He let out a long breath, closing his eyes and relaxing against Lavi. “But it’s worth it.”

“Speaking of tomorrow, we should get ourselves home.” Lavi checked his phone and winced when he saw the time. “It’s almost one already? We have to be at work in seven hours.”

Allen smiled and sighed, not bothering to move away from Lavi. The late night air was bitter cold, and leaning against the redhead helped to keep the chill away. “Yeah, we should.” He rubbed at his face with a gloved hand. “Link, let’s go. I think we’ve had enough fun for tonight.”

When he received no answer, Allen sat up, looking over to where Link had collapsed. “Link?” However, when he scanned the shoveled walkway, the blond was nowhere to be found. “Where is he?”

Lavi stood up and looked around, his green eye widening in realization. “Shit! He ran off again!”

“Are you kidding me?!” Allen shouted, jumping to his feet and scouring over the park. Link was gone without a trace. “Son of a bitch!”

“He couldn’t have gone far,” Lavi said, already rushing down the walkway. “We can find him if we hurry.”

Allen clenched his jaw and rushed after Lavi, as scowl on his face as his mood was once again ruined. “This night just keeps getting better and better.”

 

xXxXxXx

 

“Fuck,” Lavi cursed, resting a hand over his forehead as they stopped near the end of the last block they’d scoured. “My phone is dead. I have to charge it or we can’t contact Howie. Does he have your number?”

“No, I don’t believe so,” Allen said, his face flushed from the running they’d just done. They’d been up and down block after block for nearly half an hour, but Link seemed to have disappeared off the face of the Earth, and no matter how many times Lavi called or texted him, he wouldn’t return the messages. They were both dirty, exhausted, and cold. He tugged on Lavi’s coat sleeve, then lead him down the street. “C’mon. We can’t keep doing this. Let’s go to my place. We can at least clean up and charge your phone. I wouldn’t mind getting indoors and away from this cold, either.”

A panicked look crossed Lavi’s face. “But what about—”

“There’s nothing we can do at the moment,” Allen assured him, the exhaustion oozing into his voice. “I’m sure Link is fine. We should take care of ourselves first, then we can go back out and look for him.”

With a sigh, Lavi nodded, following along after Allen. “Okay.” He sounded resigned, not like his normal upbeat self, and it worried Allen.

It only took them a few minutes to reach Allen’s apartment. The complex was small, only housing less than ten units. Allen unlocked the front entryway, and sighed in relief as they were greeted with a warm gust of air. Moving upstairs, they walked through the empty halls until Allen stopped in front of a door marked with the number seven. When the door opened, he flipped the light switch and entered. “Come on in.”

Lavi followed after, looking around the small, immaculate apartment. Allen had the tendency to live a minimalist lifestyle, so he only kept the bare necessities. Few decorations hung on the walls, just a couple of posters to keep the room from looking too bleak. There was a comfortable futon with pillows and blankets piled up on each arm, and a flimsy coffee table with a laptop and some notebooks on top.

Lavi kicked off his boots next to the door and pulled off his jacket. “Geez, Al. Are you sure you live here? Were you robbed or something?”

“I don’t like a lot of clutter,” Allen said, moving towards the bedroom. “You should take a shower. That frosting in your hair is about to solidify into an unmovable mass.”

“You sure? I don’t want to put you out…”

Allen had to hold back his laughter at Lavi’s response. “After everything else we went through tonight, I’m pretty sure you using my shower is the least inconvenient. Hurry up. There are towels in the bathroom. I’ll make some hot tea and try to clean up our jackets.” After shooing the redhead into the bathroom, Allen put on the kettle to heat the water and readied a couple of mugs. Once that was done, he turned his attention to their clothes.

Lavi had taken the brunt of the donut attack, though his shirt and hair had suffered the most. Allen had his jacket zipped up, and other than a few pink and white frosting stains on the front, he managed to come out unscathed. Lavi, on the other hand, had jumped into the fray without thought.

Taking a damp washcloth, Allen cleaned Lavi’s coat first, then moved onto his own. The tough leather of the redhead’s coat cleaned easier than Allen’s puffy jacket, and he was surprised how easily the frosting came off the fabric. By the time he’d cleaned them and changed his own frosting speckled clothing, the kettle was whistling at him. He hurried back to the kitchen to pull it off the burner, then readied two cups of tea.

Allen didn’t notice the water had turned off in the bathroom until Lavi’s voice sounded behind him. “Al? I know it’s a long shot, but do you have a shirt that might fit me? This one is a disaster.”

When Allen turned around, his voice caught in his throat. Lavi stood at the kitchen entryway—shirtless. He scrubbed a towel over his damp hair with one hand while carrying his ruined shirt in the other. Stray water droplets rolled over his skin and his stained jeans hung loose around his hips. Before he could be caught staring, Allen shook his head to clear it and set the hot kettle on the stove.

“I’ll see what I have,” he managed to say without sounding completely breathless. Allen slipped past Lavi on his way to the bedroom. “Grab some tea to warm up. I’ll be back in a second.”

By the time Allen found a shirt that would fit Lavi, the redhead had already settled in on the futon and was charging his phone. He impatiently watched the screen as it blinked the low battery signal, both steaming mugs of tea on the coffee table next to him. The towel hung over his shoulders, and Allen still felt the flush over his cheeks and he tried to avoid looking at Lavi directly. He’d never seen the redhead shirtless before, and the sight had left him more than a little aroused.

“You’re in luck,” Allen said, handing the old shirt to Lavi as he sat down next to him. “I had one that might fit you. I had forgotten I even owned it.”

Setting his phone down, Lavi took the offered shirt. “Thanks.” He tossed the towel on the floor, then shimmied into the shirt. Even though it was a large, loose shirt on Allen, it fit snug against Lavi’s larger frame.

“Any word from Link?” Allen asked, distracting himself with his tea. He took a sip and shivered as the warmth flooded his body.

“My phone hasn’t even booted back up yet. Damn thing does this when the battery completely drains—takes forever to restart.” Lavi sighed and set down the phone before slumping back against the futon. “I’m sorry, Al. This was not how I wanted tonight to go.”

Allen relaxed as well, his hand still cupping the hot mug of tea as it sucked the chill from his bones. “That’s an understatement,” he said, smiling to himself. “But try not to worry. I’m sure we’ll find Link, and if nothing else, he seemed completely different by the end of the night. Your goal of cheering him up on his birthday worked, at least.”

Lavi rubbed at his good eye and chuckled softly. “That’s not exactly what I meant.”

Allen blinked and turned to look at Lavi. The redhead was still pressed back against the pillows and blankets on the futon, but his limbs were tense. Allen set his mug down, turning to face Lavi. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I didn’t do this just for Howie.”

Allen grew even more confused. He stared at Lavi for a long moment, the redhead still not returning his gaze. Finally, he grabbed Lavi’s forearm and gently tugged his hand away from his face. “Lavi, what are you talking about?”

With a heavy sigh, Lavi finally looked back at Allen and spoke in a wistful, somber tone. “I wanted you to come with us tonight because I wanted to ask you out.”

“You what?” Allen stared back at him, dumbstruck.

Lavi shrugged, trying to make light of the situation. “I always chickened out at the office. I figured if I could just get a few drinks in me and we could talk about something other than work, I would eventually ask. But then Howie kinda took over the night. I suppose that’s only fair, it being his birthday and all.”

“You… You want to go out on a date? With me?” Allen asked, making sure he understood Lavi correctly. His heart was in his throat as he stared back at Lavi, hands trembling.

“Yeah. I have for a while now,” Lavi confessed. He plastered a smile on his face, but it was just for show – it didn’t even reach his eye. “But tonight was a disaster. We’re lucky we didn’t get ourselves fired or arrested after everything that happened. I’m sorry for all the trouble.”

Allen held his breath, listening to the sound of his heartbeat as it thudded wildly against his ribcage. It took every ounce of courage he had just to utter the words that came out of his mouth next. “Ask me.”

It was Lavi’s turn to be confused. He returned Allen’s gaze, staring at the flush on his cheeks. “What?”

“Ask me out,” Allen clarified, biting the inside of his lip as he waited for Lavi to do it.

The silence between them spread out over only a few seconds, but each second felt like an eternity. Allen continued to chew at his lip, waiting, while Lavi gaped at him, mouth hung open like a fish. When Lavi finally spoke, breaking the painfully quiet air, his words were barely above whisper.

“Allen… Will you go out with me?”

“Yes,” he replied without hesitation.

Lavi laughed at the quickness of his response, falling back against the pillows once more. “Had I known it would be that easy, I could’ve saved us a lot of trouble.”

Allen couldn’t help but snicker in response. “True, but now we have quite the story to tell.”

This time, the smile reached Lavi’s eye. He stared back at Allen, his damp hair drying in an untamable, knotted mess that Allen could only call _endearing_. “Can I ask for one more thing?”

“What’s that?”

“Can I kiss you?”

Allen didn’t have to struggle with an answer this time. Instead, he leaned in without question and kissed Lavi. Their lips met gently, but the pressure grew firmer within seconds. Allen reached out to tug on the front of Lavi’s shirt, pulling him closer. He felt Lavi’s hands slip up along his back as he let out the softest moan Allen had ever heard. The sound turned Allen’s stomach into a twisted knot of desire.

Allen wondered how long they’d been holding this back—how long Lavi had kept his feelings a secret. Allen had always been attracted to the redhead, though never thought it was reciprocated. To know that they could’ve been together like this already, for who knew how long… It made Allen want to make up for lost time.

Pulling harder, Allen dragged Lavi on top of him as he stretched out on the futon. Their legs entwined as Lavi’s heavier form rested against Allen. Lavi let out a soft whine as their hips lined up perfectly, and Allen felt the hardness in Lavi’s pants already digging into him.

Allen slipped his hands around Lavi, one behind his head and buried in his hair, and the other on his hip, nails digging into his exposed skin. He let out a soft moan into Lavi’s mouth, arching his hips into him. The faint scent of his shampoo clung to Lavi’s hair, and Allen clenched his fingers tighter into the wet strands. Lavi seemed more hesitant than he had expected, but considering it was their first kiss and they were already grinding on his couch, he shouldn’t have been surprised.

Just as he was about to move things further, slipping his hand over the curve of Lavi’s ass, an annoying buzzing came from the coffee table. Allen ignored it for the moment, too intent on kissing Lavi. However, the redhead reluctantly pulled away, leaving Allen gasping for breath and whining at the loss of contact. Reaching over to the table, Lavi grabbed his phone, the damn thing still buzzing. He was receiving text after text, now that it had booted up.

Lavi gasped as he sat up straight, still straddling Allen’s hips. “It’s Howie!”

“What?!” Allen asked, bolting upright as well. He peered at the phone, trying to read the messages. “Where is he? Is he okay?!”

Lavi scanned over the texts. “I don’t… he’s not making much sense. I think he’s still wasted.” He scrolled through the messages one by one until his eye lit up with recognition. “Wait, I know where he is.”

“You do?” Allen looked at picture Link had sent, and all he could see was a blurry picture the blond had tried to take in some bar.

“Yeah! C’mon, let’s go get him before he gets himself kicked out again.” Lavi shoved the phone in his pocket and helped Allen off the couch. He was already putting on his shoes by the time Allen had managed to clear his head enough to think straight.

“Are you sure you want to go off half-cocked again?” Allen asked, grabbing his own boots and lacing them up.

“Yeah— but this is the last time. If we can’t get him home, he’s on his own.” Lavi grabbed his jacket and slipped into it. “Especially since he interrupted us.”

Allen chuckled and pulled his own coat from the rack. “Yeah, I’d say he owes us.”

“Big time.”

 

xXxXxXx

 

They took a cab to the bar Lavi had recognized in the picture— Off Key. By the time they reached their destination, it was nearing 2:00AM, and Allen felt fatigue set in. Their night had been so crazy, so insane, that he was surprised he still managed to walk upright. They slipped into the small establishment and scanned the room for their coworker.

It only took a few seconds to find him, the hideous sound of his voice and another’s reverberating through the bar. Allen’s silver eyes widened as he caught sight of Link up on the tiny stage, more disheveled than he had been the last time they saw him. He stood with his arm around his singing partner as they belted out the lyrics to _"Bohemian Rhapsody"_ by Queen.

“Is that…?” Allen asked, trailing off as they stood in the entryway and gawked.

Lavi nodded, a grin spreading over his face. “Oh, yes. That is definitely Elvis. He and Howie must’ve reconciled.”

Allen laughed, rubbing his hand over his eyes as he leaned against Lavi. “I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it.”

Lavi hooked his arm around Allen’s and pulled him towards the stage.

Link noticed them as they sat at one of the many empty tables in the bar, and pointed at them to acknowledge their presence just before he and Elvis hit the last few notes of the song. Once they finished, Link hopped off stage and headed over to their table.

“You found me!” he said, obviously still buzzed. Allen had no doubt that he grabbed more drinks from the bar before they arrived. Link slapped his hands on the table, smiling widely as he sat down with them.

“It wasn’t hard after you sent me all those selfies. You got the pink flamingo statue in one of them,” Lavi explained. “This was the only place in town where you could’ve been.”

“You need to stop disappearing on us,” Allen added, trying his best to give him a stern look, but Link’s upbeat attitude was contagious. He barely kept a grin off his face. “You really worried us.”

“Sorry,” Link apologized. “But tonight has been a revelation. I have to thank you both for coming out with me on my birthday.”

“Aw, no problemo, Howie,” Lavi said, clapping him hard on the back. “Glad to see you more chipper than earlier. And you seem to have made peace with Elvis.” He gestured over to Link’s costumed companion, who was at the bar grabbing what looked to be way too many shots for one person.

“We have put aside our differences and decided to band together for the good of music,” Link replied, a serious look on his face. “It was the only honorable thing to do.”

Lavi nodded whole-heartedly. “Of course!”

As Allen was about to speak up and remind them of the time and that they should all get back home, Elvis brought a tray of shots and slid it on the table. Allen blinked, paling at the sight of the small glasses. There were enough for all of them to have three shots each.

“To the music!” Elvis proclaimed, downing a shot with ease and slamming the empty glass back onto the table.

Link hurried to grab a shot for himself, and downed it in one quick, fluid motion. When he finished, he looked at Lavi and Allen expectantly. “You, too.”

Allen sighed. “I think we’ve drank enough for a lifetime tonight.” He looked to Lavi for backup, but instead, Lavi grabbed a shot for himself and drank it down.

Lavi winced at the burn, then smiled at him. “C’mon, Al. A few more drinks won’t hurt! We’re already here, anyway.”

“Yes, you need to loosen up if you’re going to sing with us,” Link said, taking another shot. This one went down faster than the first.

“What? I never agreed to this,” Allen said, his eyebrows furrowing.

Lavi grabbed a shot glass and handed it off to him. “Let’s think of it as one last hurrah for the night. Just one more song, and then we’ll go home.”

On any normal night, Allen would’ve refrained. They all had work tomorrow morning, and it was hours past a reasonable bedtime. But the way Lavi’s green eye sparkled with mischief, Allen couldn’t say no. With an exhausted, resigned sigh, Allen took the drink. “Fine. One song! Then we’re gone.”

Lavi grinned as Allen swallowed the shot. “Yes!” He grabbed Allen’s hands and pulled him to his feet, already dragging him towards the stage. “Hurry up! We gotta sing, Al!”

Allen tried to hide his smile as they moved to the stage.

 

xXxXxXx

 

Allen’s head hit his desk for the fifth time that morning. He’d only been working for an hour, and he was already certain he wanted to die.

One shot had turned into six, and one song had turned into ten. Before Allen knew it, he was nursing a hangover and just barely making it to work on time. The tail end of their night was a blur, but when he focused, he could recall most of it. Somehow, Lavi had talked him into more drinks, while Link and Elvis managed to keep him on stage with more songs. It was sunup by the time he dragged himself back to his apartment, and he had just enough time to shower, brush his teeth, and fumble his way to the office.

He lost what was left of his buzz on the bus ride in, and was lucky he hadn’t tossed his cookies yet. His stomach rebelled and coiled up inside, and on more than one occasion, he contemplated running to the bathroom and emptying its contents. He was just about to get to his feet and scrounge around for saltine crackers in the break room, when a familiar figure slid up to his desk.

Allen stared at Lavi through his fingers as he held his head in his hands. “You look about as good as I feel.”

Lavi winced. “I’m guessing that’s pretty bad, then?” When Allen nodded, he sighed. “Sorry, Al. I guess we got a little carried away last night.”

Allen shook his head, a pained smile on his face as he sat up straight in his chair. “It’s not your fault.”

“Here—a peace offering.” Lavi held out a paper bag and a large cup of coffee. “I hit McDonalds on the way here. Got stuff for you, me, and Howie. Figured we could use some protein and coffee to wake up.”

Allen took the cup and bag offered. Lavi must have come straight to his desk when he got here—he still had his winter coat on and three orders of food. “Thanks. I think this might actually help.”

“Usually I go for a big greasy burger after a night like that, but a sausage mcmuffin will have to do.”

Allen managed a soft laugh. “Yes, this will do nicely. Thanks for bringing it in.”

Lavi shuffled on his feet for a moment before speaking again. “So, I know you’re probably dead-tired from last night, but I was wondering if you wanted to go on that date tonight?” He avoided Allen’s gaze, a nervous smile on his face. “Though, I was thinking we could just stay in, maybe watch a movie and try not to die as we rehydrate.”

The sick feeling in Allen’s stomach was replaced by a lighter one, one that made his heart beat faster and his cheeks tinge pink. “We could order some takeout at my place,” he offered.

Lavi met his gaze then, and Allen knew no amount of hangover pain could make him take back last night. “I’ll bring the Gatorade and you order the pizza?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

Just as Lavi was about turn and leave, he winced in pain and held his stomach. “Aw, crap.” He set the extra coffees and bags on Allen’s desk. “Could you bring Howie his food? I think I have to run to the bathroom before I—”

“Yes, yes. Go!” Allen said, shooing him away before he spewed all over his desk. He watched as Lavi disappeared down the aisle and into the nearby bathroom, not envying him in that moment. With a sigh, Allen grabbed the coffee and food, then headed to Link’s office. He walked slowly, still trying to keep himself from keeling over like Lavi had. When he reached the office he knocked politely, and heard a groan of “Yes?”

Allen opened the door and closed it behind him. Link seemed to be in the worst shape between the three of them. He was collapsed against his desk, head cushioned on his folded arms. There were water bottles littering the desk, half of them empty. He looked up as Allen entered, dark circles under his eyes and one eye ringed black and purple from the punch he’d taken last night.

“Walker.” It was all Link could say, but his voice had no malice in it—only exhaustion.

Allen sighed and set the food on the desk next to Link’s head. “Lavi got us breakfast and coffee.”

Link groaned, but nodded slightly and stared at the offering. “Thank him for me.”

“I will.” Allen turned to leave, but Link spoke up again, stopping him in his tracks.

“Did I imagine you and Bookman announcing your new relationship last night? Or was that real?” Link rubbed at his sore eyes as he tried to sit up straight and failed, slumping back against his desk.

Allen couldn’t help but grin. “Nope, that was real.”

With a slight nod, Link gave him a weak thumbs-up. “Congratulations, Allen. You two will make a good couple.”

Allen’s eyes widened. He paused for a moment, then turned and grabbed the doorknob. “Thanks, _Howie_ ,” he replied, leaving the office and closing the door quietly behind him.

Maybe Howard Link wasn’t that bad after all.

**Author's Note:**

> There you have it. ;)


End file.
